Slaughter: Laughter with an “S” on top.

Merriam-Webster dictionary:
Main Entry: 2 slaughter (slô t r)
Function: transitive verb
1 : to kill (animals) for food : Butcher
2 a : to kill in a bloody or violent manner : Slay b : to kill in large numbers : Massacre. 3 : to discredit, defeat, or demolish completely

Kenyanchick’s dictionary:
S/Laughter. (sssss- läf t r)
1. You are demolished; I crack up.

Listen, you asked for the truth. I said I unleashed an ‘Epic,' ‘Ben Hur,’ blasting on L.F. and you said you wanted to know more.

Be careful what you wish for. Because now you’re going to get it.

First of all, it wasn’t funny. Because I was incandescent with rage.
In-can-fucking-descent.

Kudos to Jay who figured out that my smile masked my desire to sharpen knives and enforce natural selection.

It wasn’t pretty. But boy did I have fun.
When I get angry – are you paying attention, oh ye who harbour self-destructive thoughts? – I get hyper-literate in my language. (yeah yeah, whatever: bite me).
So I told him – and there’s no way I’d lie about this – that I thought he was a person who was “lacking in honour and integrity.”

I told him that he was a coward who stood for nothing, who had to be chased all over town for a pre-adolescent’s DVDs, and that I was obviously on some mind-altering drugs the day I decided I could trust him.

I said, “I deserved better and you know that. Give me my niece’s shit and we never have to deal with each other again, ok?”
All the little weasel could do was nod his head enthusiastically, and say “I know, I know, I’m sorry” over and over again.

THEN I told him that he would “rue the day” that he ever crossed me.
Rue.
My mama's tuition money didn't go to waste. (Mum: there’s your endorsement. You can go back to the “Bold and Beautiful.” There’s nothing more to see here.)

Oh, um, about the wedding? I wasn’t invited! [Official explanation: Someone must have forgotten to deliver your card.]

I’m crying with [s]laughter even as I write this!